Schools are opening and for the kids, it’s a bunch of excitement, but for the parents who are obviously recovering from the lockdown bankruptcy, it is a nightmare! Now the story becomes more worrying as it results in domestic violence because of financial, emotional and psychological pressures that come along with battling to make ends meet.
Domestic violence is a form of aggressive behaviour within a family or home setup, where there is a close relationship between the victim and the offender, typically involving the violent abuse of the spouse or ex-partner. As a result, the victim may suffer from psychological harm, deprivation, maldevelopment, injury, or even death.
Domestic violence occurs in so many forms including but not limited to physical violence, sexual violence, emotional violence, psychological violence, spiritual violence and cultural violence.
Globally, men are more ferocious than women (UN Office on Drugs and Crime, 2013). However, women frequently take part in other forms of aggressive behaviour (Richardson, 2005). Research consistently reports that women use indirect hostility to an equivalent or greater extent than men (Archer and Coyne, 2005).
Below are some nuggets to help reduce domestic violence:
Ways for women to prevent domestic violence
- Men are egotistic by nature and so may not even say a word when things are not going in their favour. So women should be tactical in their nature when enquiring about anything, especially if it’s something to do with finances.
- Men talk less and think a lot when under pressure. Therefore, women study your man. Understand when he needs his space and he will respect you for that.
- Most men do not love disrespectful wives who retaliate with words or actions. So wives should try by all means to keep quiet whenever necessary and be respectful to their husbands as recommended in Ephesians Chapter 5 of the bible, from verses 21 to 24. It is wiser to discuss the issues when the storm is over.
- Men hate to be compared because of their egoistic nature. So do not do it, period.
- Maintain your distance when your husband is under the influence of drugs; avoid unnecessary disputes.
Ways for men to prevent domestic violence
- Most women release their anger by talking. Men who easily lose their temper should move to a separate room to avoid the manifestation of newton’s third law of motion.
- Most women have trails of a mother’s touch and therefore are so emotional. So a man should care, cherish and affirm his woman even in the darkest moments. Men should love their wives as recommended in Ephesians Chapter 5:25 of the bible.
- A woman is a fighter and she will go to any extent to keep her own children from suffering in any manner. So a man should open up in times of financial crisis to avoid undesirable outcomes caused by the aggression of the woman.
How spouses can prevent domestic violence
- Avoid verbal abuse (humiliating, quarreling, or exchanging hurtful words), especially in the presence of children or third parties. Verbal abuse generates high-tempers that trigger domestic violence. Besides, it leads to the germination of deep wounds and a seed of hatred and violence, even amongst the kids, and that picture will haunt them wherever they go. Whenever differences arise, it is best to make them private and solve them amicably.
- Avoid financial abuse, where one gains access and control over the partner’s financial resources without his or her consent and often misuses it. Financial discipline is very important; Be open, honest, and responsible.
- Avoid abusing your family physically. This means to train yourself not to push, throw, kick, slap, grab, hit, punch, beat, trip, batter, bruise, choke, shake, pinch, bite, hold, restrain, confine, break, burn, assault with a weapon or murder.
- Communicate with each other every step of the way. Communication has the power to lighten burdens and cement bonds, thus help to reduce sudden outbursts that may lead to fighting.
- Be transparent to one another. Lack of transparency may lead to vicious cycles of suspicion and lack of trust between partners. This will eventually lead to violence.
- Do not neglect to take care of your duties and responsibilities.
- Do not use threats or cause your partner to develop fear and gain control of him or her.
- Avoid using your partner’s religious or cultural beliefs to manipulate, control or have dominance over him or her.
- Do not do or say something that will make your partner feel worthless or stupid.
- Do not force your partner to engage in sexual activity unwillingly.
- Keep yourself from falling victim to the ill influence of relatives or friends.
- Always be slow to react to feelings such as anger, frustration, or sadness. Give yourself room to settle down and avoid talking back or responding to emotions. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry as recommended by James 1:19 of the bible.
LET US ALL HELP TO STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. IT BEGINS WITH ME; IT BEGINS WITH YOU; IT BEGINS WITH ALL OF US.